Parenting

When I was a little girl and you asked me what I wanted to be…

When I was a teen dreaming of the coming years…

When I was in college studying for the next exam…

In all those moments and many more, I was praying that someday I’d be a mom. I did not know how many children I wanted – I don’t even think I thought of that part of it. I just wanted to be a mother. To care for little ones. To love them daily. To see the joy in them as they learn new things, discover the world around them. To raise them to know the love of Jesus and help them walk the narrow path he has laid out for them.

Sunflowers in a white antique vase set on a black background with the light flooding the flowers

I saw joy, hope, laughter. I saw memories being made to last a lifetime. I didn’t see heartache, hurts that take time to heal, or the strain of children becoming adults and not staying on that narrow path.

But God… he saw it all. He saw me dreaming of my future. He saw my heart and drew me closer to him as I became a parent and had to lean more into him than I ever had in my life. He knew that as I followed my dream I would become discouraged – by how I reacted to my children, by choices my children would make, BUT he also knew I would find HOPE in him. That when the days were dark and lonely, I would know God was in this with me. That his plan was greater than mine and I needed to trust him… I needed to fully give my children into his care and know he would be with them.

My everyday moments… those seemingly unimportant moments – folding laundry, making dinner, driving the mom taxi – I had to choose to see those as opportunities to serve Him. In those moments I can reflect on each of my children. Pray for them as I fold laundry. Gather around a table to reconnect and share our lives with each other. Talk with them about God and show them how to make him a part of their everyday.

It may be an ordinary life to most that amounts to nothing. But I have lived my dream job for 23 years and counting. I know that by living in those everyday moments – the good ones and the ones that brought me to my knees in prayer, I was serving God. As I loved (and continue to love) them, I was loving God. May my children always know my love for them but that I may reflect the love God has for them more so.

As my children begin to spread their wings my life has begun to change. Our oldest is in the Air Force and lives 9 hours away. During the summer the next two in line spend 8 weeks out of the country with Teen Missions leaving our youngest the only one home. I can wallow in my sorrow that my nest is feeling empty or I can find joy in my children following God’s calling to the next thing in their lives, which, let’s face it, I always knew would include them not living at my house.

But on Sunday morning as I sing songs of worship I feel a connection to each of my children. You see, they may not be in church at that moment (because of different time zones, or different church hours), but I know that at some point we are all standing together worshiping the same God and that brings me such joy.

Sure I want my children to be productive adults in the world. Getting a job, helping others, doing what they love… but, most important to me from the day they were born was that they would come to know Christ, choose to follow him, and walk in the ways he has for them. I was able to be there for three of my four children as they accepted Christ… my youngest had to be different, she prayed with an Awana leader. I also watched as they have made this belief of my husband and I’s their own and not just something they do because Mom and Dad do this.

So on Sunday morning if you see me at church with tears streaming down my face, don’t worry about me. I’m just crying grateful tears to my Lord that my children are following in his ways and maybe singing the same song I am. I’m allowing those worship songs to sink into my soul making the words an intimate prayer with my creator and thanking him for shepherding my children as they walk in the path before them. I’m laying them before him as well as myself and my husband thinking of the day we will all stand before him in eternal worship.

Tag: Parenting

Everyday Moments

Worship